i'd like to thank the one who wore my former name,
a tag that fit the world but not my frame.
it sounds like echoes from an older life,
a word that cuts despite not feeling "mine."
for twenty-six long years i walked in haze,
a city wrapped in dim, unrendered days.
i saw my life through glass i couldn't break,
not knowing there was more than just "awake."
he kept me running on a failing core,
when every feeling crashed against the floor.
hands steady even when the heart went numb,
shipping each day so i could still become.
he clocked in broken, logged out just the same,
built all my scaffolds out of quiet pain.
he kept the lights on in a hollow chest,
so i could boot one day and feel my best.
before i knew that people like me were,
the world felt wrong but had no shape or word.
my soul and body failed to synchronize,
like mismatched ports beneath electric skies.
i blamed the noise, the rain, the burning signs,
the endless grind of numbered days and time.
i thought this wrongness was the human fee,
a tax on just existing quietly.
my courage ran in stealth through hostile streets,
avoiding hands that wanted me erased.
was forced to live with scars inside my code,
still pushing forward with a shaking load.
i learned to speak in neutral, careful tones,
to sand my edges down to safer zones.
i walked around the words that cut too deep,
let silence hold the shape i couldn't keep.
then... fog went down, dispersed by rainbow flame,
magenta truth igniting every frame.
my real name appeared in system logs,
no ghost account behind my eyes at all.
at last, this body speaks my native tongue,
no emulation just to get along.
i stand in skin that matches what i am,
alive in ways i never knew i can.
so thank you, boy who kept me breathing slow,
who calmly crawled through hell so i could truly go.
you wore the mask, you took the wrong design,
you bore the pain so it was never mine.
you lived as numb so i could live as whole,
you saved my life without a single goal.
you carved this world from years you couldn't save,
then laid it at my feet and - smiling - dug your grave.