i'm stupidly blessed by your ultra-bright light,
a galaxy brain with a killer smile tight.
you solve all my problems with ideas and charm,
then melt into cuddles - a dangerous calm.
my luck hit the jackpot the day that we met,
two sweethearts on platforms - a perfect duet.
you're clever as circuits, you're pretty as sin,
my heart runs on you like a well-tuned engine.
i brag to the stars, to the moon, to the rain,
about having you loaded in my AppDomain.

i'll toast to our future with cider and cheer,
but for fuck's sake please
stop drinking that "special" beer.

i didn't build myself enough to earn your flame,
i'm just a mess with a pulse and cute name.

love isn't wages, it's not some landknecht game,
don't want your résumé, i only need you to stay.

my life has taught me i'm only worth what i do,
if i stop bleeding effort, i disappear from view.

then unlearn that gospel, it was made to bruise,
i want you breathing beside me, not proving what's true.

you're solid ground, i'm a fault line in shoes,
you'll trip on my cracks, that's what lovers all do.

i've been walking alone on a road made of screws,
you shake - we go together, that's still something to choose.

i didn't fight dragons or scale some great wall,
why would a woman like you pick me at all?

i'm tired of heroes who never see me fall,
i want the girl who stays when i'm nothing at all.

i feel like debt wrapped in nothing to show,
you'll wake up one day and collect what i owe.

i'm not a banker of hearts with a ledger at core,
i just want your voice when the room turns to snow.

i'm trained to be useful, to earn every kiss,
if i rest, i vanish, that's how it is.

then rest in my arms, let usefulness miss,
you don't have to perform to exist like this.

i don't bring you trophies, just panic and fear,
just scars that still talk when the night gets near.

i've been starving for someone who's painfully clear,
your scars say "i'm here," and that's all i hear.

i'll break like glass in the middle of us,
you'll cut your whole future just touching my trust.

i've lived with emptiness, needles and dust,
i'll take a "bleeding tomorrow" over "spotless and just."

i don't know how to be wanted for free,
every love i was taught had a lock and a fee.

then let me be reckless and want you for "be,"
no code, no condition, just you next to me.

you deserve someone holy, or clever, or brave,
not a girl who still flinches at what she can't save.

i'm done with the perfect, the polished, the paved,
i want the real you - terrified and brave.

what if i fail you, what if i fade,
what if my fear is the only thing made?

then we'll sit in the failure and watch it degrade,
i didn't pick you for winning, i picked you to stay.

my love feels crooked, like stolen or wrong,
like i hacked into something i can't run for long.

i waited my whole damn life to belong,
not to a crown, but to someone who sings off-key songs.

i'm not the reward at the end of your climb,
i'm the loose step that wastes all your time.

i climbed every mountain and found only signs,
saying "stop running alone, let her ruin your lines."

you see a future, where i see a trap,
i hear my mother when you say "perhaps."

i hear your voice when the world goes flat,
that's the sound i choose when there is no map.

i didn't earn you, i swear i did not,
i'm just standing in love i was never taught.

i didn't need earning, i needed a shot,
where someone would meet me, unarmored, and caught.
i don't want your polish, your proof, or your role,
just be here. that's it. that's the whole fucking goal.

it's been three days
since we last
held each other's hands.

feels like three months.
it's like the
time        without        you        bends.

without you my room
is missing warmth.
it's empty, sad - it's gloom.

but future tells me
soon you'll return,
and make my smile bloom.